Episode 2: The Peter Pan syndrome

They headed back by walking, because any sort of public transport was too dangerous at the moment, you never knew who was driving. Fortunately Bonn wasn’t as big as London, so they didn’t have to walk ages to get to the rented holiday flat.
As soon as they arrived Liam dropped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It had been quite a busy day, and except bumping into adults who acted crazy and a strange candidate for chancellor election, they didn’t really get any results out of this. They just didn’t know where to start looking, and by now half of the citizens of Bonn were infected by whatever it was that changed their behaviour, but it was just very hard to find out where it could all have started.

“Are there any factories around Bonn that release any sort of toxic chemicals in the air? I mean, most factories do, but some are more dangerous than others, or it could be something radioactive with…”

Lorelai shook her head. “No, I don’t think there are factories like that, but we could check.”

Liam sighed. “And I bet it is a crazy scientist after all…That would be so cool.”

She grinned and threw the dictionary next to his head. “It’s time to study a bit German, you never know when you need it. We might split up sometime, and then you don’t have me to turn to anymore if you don’t understand the language.”

Study German? He’d rather study her, and that wonderful body of hers. But no, of course he wasn’t that lucky.
He opened the dictionary, most words looked absolutely unpronounceable.

“And don’t look up the dirty words again, you won’t need them for our job”, Lorelai said while she gave Charlie some food.

Lorelai read the special edition newspaper about the chancellor after she had given Liam a few sentences to study.

“Hey Liam, here I want you to translate this sentence.” Lorelai handed Liam the notebook in which was written in her accurate curvy handwritten was written. Hallo, du bist wunderschoen. Was ist deine BH groesse, du hast wundervolle Brueste.

“This candidate is weird, he always makes sure that he carries candy around. And he gives out balloons I mean what kind of politician does that? And he is obsessed with bottled water. I mean it is that obvious enough that the press is talking about it. He has no real political program but still seems to be the leading candidate. Oh man I’m exhausted. Do you mind if I crash?”

Liam looked up from the dictionary, grinning cheekily. “Hello, you are beautiful. What is the size of your bra, you have wonderful breasts.”

“Good job.” Lorelai blinked at him. “If I wouldn’t have given you that sentence to translate, I would have boxed your little ears.”

“I’m sorry, I just translated what you told me to.”

“I know.” She got up and walked to him, then turned her back on him. “Would you mind?”

“Ehm…what?”

“Unzip my dress. I can’t reach the zipper.”

Liam’s eyes widened as he kept staring at her back.

“Hey there, still alive?”

“Oh…eh…yes!” He quickly jumped up and unzipped her dress, trying not to say, do or think anything stupid. Of course he thought something stupid, but he didn’t say it.

“Thank you, sweetheart”, she said without turning around, she went straight to the bathroom. While she was in the bathroom, Liam took the newspaper and sat back on his bed. Since it was written in German he didn’t understand it, but he looked at the pictures of the weird chancellor candidate Lorelai was talking about. It all seemed strange and didn’t make sense to him. What kind of chancellor tried to buy his way by giving out balloons and candy?
When Lorelai walked out of the bathroom, he couldn’t resist.
“So…”, he said, still looking through the newspaper. “What is it?”

“What is what?”

“The size of your bra?”

She raised her eyebrows. “You better watch out, little man, or I’ll really box your ears.”

He smiled innocently. “You were the one who wanted me to translate it…”

Lorelai was applying body lotion and she knew it drove Liam crazy to watch it. “Trust me sweetie, its too large for you to handle.”

Lorelai giggled, this was one of the best missions she had been in a very long time. “So any idea what is causing the Peter Pan Syndrome?”

“No not really. If I could just get my hands on a person that is infected.”

“So you want to kidnap someone to probe him? Okay we will see what we can do. But for now you need some sleep, go to bed Fuechschen.”

“But I’m not tired.” Liam looked sulking like a little boy at her.

“Hey you said you want to be my protector, to be that you need to rest. So go to bed.” Lorelai left the small living room kitchen area and went into her small bedroom. “Sleep well Fuechschen.” She came back, kissed Liam on the cheek, tousled his hair and went to her room. "Oh and if I were you I would rub it off, your little tension in your pants." She grinned when she closed the door.

This was embarrassing. Despite the fact that he was hidden under a blanket, she still knew what was going on underneath there. Was he that obvious or was she just that smart? Either way, he felt embarrassed and was actually glad that she left the room, so he could blush like crazy without her seeing it. As expected, it took him ages to fall asleep, both of all the excitement the past days but also the case that didn’t make sense yet. The gears in his head were spinning while he lay awake, until it was about two in the morning and his eyes began to hurt, so he closed them and fell asleep soon afterwards.

Liam could have slept much longer, but something tickled his feet- or someone. He opened his eyes and found Lorelai sitting at the end of the bed, grinning widely at him. Did she just tickle his feet? Really? Was this some sort of game?
His heart rate immediately got faster by the idea of her playing some kind of game. She was only half dressed and sat on his bed, so that was a good thing, right? He tried not to look nervous and cleared his throat.
“Hello…”
Great, that just sounded super gay.

Lorelai giggled. Which was weird. Because she never giggled like that. It was a strange, childish giggle…Well, maybe it was part of her game, so he tried to play along and smiled, but he blushed at the same time.
Suddenly she started to clap her hands excitedly. “Can we go to the zoo today? Please?” Her voice didn’t sound at all like hers, she sounded like a little girl.

“To the zoo?” Now he was confused. “Did you…eh…find anything out? Anything important that we might-”

“I want to see the animals!” Lorelai grinned at him. “Please! Let me pet the animals!”

Oh oh…something is not right here, not at all…

Lorelai was very exciting. “You have so pretty eyes, they are like the ocean maybe there are dolphins in.”

Lorelai grinned widely while she moved closer to Liam, still just wearing her little PJ’s. “I wanna sees animals, and go swimming please, Liam? Can we, can we, can we?”

Lorelai’s voice was high pitchy and she sounded so excited about the thought of seeing animals. “Oh man I’m thirsty I get some water you want some too?” She jumped off the bed, went to the kitchen sink and drunk a large glass of water, she seemed thirsty like she was dehydrated. She was hoping from one foot on the other or even balancing on just one foot while she was drinking.

Liam looked shocked at Lorelai.
This was a joke.
This was a bloody joke!
No, no, no, no! She couldn’t be infected as well! No way! They just arrived here, and he needed her help, he couldn’t do everything on his own. And what if she wouldn’t change back…oh God, no! He didn’t want to think of that.
Maybe she just had something to drink this morning, something really strong, and was completely wasted now. Sure, that must be it. Drunk. Definitely.

“Hey…” He got up and approached her slowly while she continued jumping around on one leg with the glass of water in her hand. “Are you feeling okay?”

She grinned widely at him, which was kind of disturbing. Her whole behaviour was disturbing! If she really was infected, he was screwed! He had no idea how to handle kids, he didn’t even like kids! Well, she would be a really hot one…but that was wrong. And he had to fix this.

“I’m great!”, she shouted, spilling some of the water.

“Let me take this.” He didn’t ask, he just took away the glass from her.

“Hey, that’s mine!” She crossed her arms.

Liam took a deep breath. “Ehm…Lorelai…how old are you?”

She started giggling. “I don’t know, I can’t even count yet, silly!”

Oh crap.

“Please tell me you got drunk this morning.”

She looked confused at him. “Hm?”

“Did you have any alcohol this morning?”
Please, please, please let her be drunk, and not infected!

She made a face. “Eeww, no! That’s only for grown-ups!” She started twirling around like a freaking ballerina. “Can we do something now? I’m bored! I want to go outside, Liam, pleeeaaase!”

They definitely needed to go outside, he needed to find out what infected the adults, and why Lorelai had it too. But looking at her made him hesitate, he wasn’t sure if he could take her with him, but he had no choice, he couldn’t lock her up in a room and leave her unsupervised.

“Liiiiaaaam, can we play something?” Lorelai was pulling at his hand. “Come on Liamino!”

“Okay, okay. Just wait a moment okay?” Liam stared at Lorelai trying to figure out what to do.

“Okay dokey!” Lorelai sat down on the floor and started played with her toes. “Dip dip dip dip dip.“ She tipped her toes one after the other. “Zupf zupf zupf zupf zupf.“ She twitched her toes one after the other. “Kribbel kribbel kratz kratz kratz.” She tickled and scratched the sole of her foot. “Halt dich fest mein Schatz.” Lorelai hold her foot tight with both hands. She giggled and started the same game with her second foot, while Liam could nothing else do but stare at her. “I need to pee.”

Oh my God please be able to do that alone, thought Liam. “Erm sure can you go on your own?”

“Of course Mister Liam, I’m a big girl. Can I wear a dress today?”

“Yes go to the bathroom.”

Lorelai went to the bathroom and after that she got dressed, and had two messy pig tails. “Look I made my hair.” Lorelai beamed proud at Liam. “Can we now go outside? My little doggy wants to play with me.”

Charlie kept looking at Liam, whenever Lorelai came spoke or acted like a child as if the dog expected the boy to fix her. “I’m thirsty can I have more water?”

“Yes your glass is on the table.”

Lorelai took a few gulps of water and then put some in Charlie’s bowl, but the dog just sniffed at the water and kicked his bowl over. A small flood was on the kitchenette floor. “Oui, look water on the floor. Liam Charlie made a mess.” Lorelai looked at Liam since he was in her eyes the adult.

Why the hell do I talk like this? I am thirty no five. Fuechschen you better fix this I don’t wanna go through my mental puberty when I am forty!

Lorelai was a little tattletale and she was proud of it.

This was so disturbing. On so many levels!
Liam was completely overwhelmed and helpless. This was how some parents must feel, only that he didn’t picture him as a parent- like ever! And the ‘child’ was not a child but a thirty year old (very hot) woman that he absolutely adored. But this right now…this wasn’t adorable, this was just disturbing. He didn’t even know how to talk to her while she jumped around and giggled like she was completely high.

“Ehm…Lorelai?” He took a deep breath. “We are…well, we’re going outside now. You have to put something on before we leave the house…”

“But I’m dressed!”, she protested. She was still wearing her rather short pyjama, and there was no way Liam could let her run around like that, people- especially men- would stare at him, and yes, he would have a problem with that.

“Yes, I know, but you have to dress a little more.”

Lorelai sat down on the bed and crossed her arms. “But I don’t want to!”

Seriously? Was she going all sulky-stubborn-kid on him now? He had absolutely no idea how to handle that, no bloody idea!
Liam sighed and walked into the other room to Lorelai’s bags. He should be happy because he finally got the chance to go through her clothes- and oh man, he found some very fine pieces- but this situation was so screwed up that he couldn’t even really enjoy the fact that he touched some of her underwear. He pulled out something that looked not too revealing, a rather simple blue dress and a cardigan in case she got cold, then he went back into the other room where Lorelai was playing with Charlie.
“Here.” He handed her the dress but she didn’t take it, she continued playing with her dog. “Lorelai, can you put it on?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“If you don’t put on the dress you’re not going outside.”
Did he just say that? Geez, he sounded like a father! That was scary.

Lorelai got up from the floor and sighed. “You have to help me.”

“Ehm…what?”

Before she said anything she already started to get out of her top.

Whoa, hold on! Was that seriously happening? Did she just get undressed in front of him and wanted his help to get into her dress? Hell yes!
Wait. That wasn’t right.
Damn you, guilty conscience, how is that not right?!
Liam sighed and hated the fact that his conscious won over him, so before Lorelai had the chance to pull the shirt over her head and reveal a fantastic view, he quickly put the dress over her head. It looked completely stupid because she was still wearing her PJ top underneath, but Liam really didn’t care right now. This was getting all over his head right now, and he seriously worried that Lorelai would stay like this forever. This was just awful…

“Now we can go”, he said and opened the main door.

“What? No! WAIT! I look stupid.” Lorelai was pulling at her dress and the shirt underneath. When she suddenly bent over and pulled off her pyjama pants she was still wearing under the dress. Liam couldn’t see anything but he got suddenly very nervous. She went into her bedroom and got a fresh knickers she put on.

“Liam! Help me!” She had managed to also pull off her shirt but her dress was now not covering her boobs anymore, well at least not properly.

“Holy Saint Patrick.” Liam moaned when he saw Lorelai, a giggling Lorelai.

“No I am not holy or Patrick, I am Lorelai. Don’t you know that silly? Liam I am thirsty.” Lorelai stepped closer and turned around that he could zip her dress again.

“Lorelai we have no time for this.” Liam sounded a little bit annoyed when he zipped her dress again. “Come on now! We have to go.” Liam took Lorelai’s hand and pulled her out of the holiday flat. But what he saw outside was a scary picture every adult that was on the street acted like a freaking child. And every TV, newspapers and every media around Liam showed the new soon to be chancellor. One slogan on a magazine was: Ich bin das Wasser in der Duerre Deutschlands! Triff den Kanzler heute im Krongress Hotel.

„This is weird. Liam how can a man be water for a drought? I don’t understand? Can we go and meet him? He is in the congress hotel. And he has a bottle of water and I am so thirsty! Liam? Liam? Liiiiaaaaam!”

NPC

“Herr Feirefiz, you plan is working out perfectly. Every adult is infected, the town is our there is no one left that can stop us. And we are the only ones that have the antidote. How does it feel to outgrow Hitler?” The assistant said glorious.

“It is the triumph of the century. I always wanted to own a country and such a stupid country we are doing the world a great favour. The people here are too unfriendly it is better that way. Soon they will all be drooling babies and die of starvations.” Herr Heirefiz laughed evilly before he drank from his bottled water. Just moments before he would go out and give a speech of being the water in the German drought.