Growing Up

Jo followed Liam and Dick with both girls on her arm tightly pressed against her chest.

“Liam?” She whispered.

Liam hurried to his wife and pulled her in a hug. “It’s fine, we kicked him off the property. Our girls and all students are safe.”

Jo nodded the girls were confused they didn’t understand why their mommy was so upset and why she pressed them so tightly against her chest. Liam kissed Jo gently on the cheek. “No one is going to harm you, you are safe here.” For a moment Liam remembered the night when he got home into his flat and Jo was gone the door was open and he knew he had failed and his girlfriend was been taken. But not from here, no one would ever be able to harm her here. Jo didn’t really know this but he had turned Waterfall Downs into a fortress.

“Lady O’Doherty?” Sofiya looked flirtatious at Liam and then at Jo.

“Um yeah technically I am still holding the title Lady but I do not use it anymore. But um what are you doing here Miss Sofiya?”

“Oh my father told me about the Christmas parties here so I decided it is time for me to attend one.” Sofiya didn’t look at Jo but Liam, she undressed him with her eyes. And then she put her hands on his chest. “It is so nice to meet your husband Missis O’Doherty.” A few students were close by and had taken the twins from Jo’s arms to play with them a little more before it was bedtime for them. So Jo starred at Sofiya that was clearly flirting with her husband and she was close to scratching this bitch the eyes out.

For a moment Liam just stood there and didn’t do anything, there was just something about Sofiya that was mesmerizing for some reason, but then he remembered that he had already hurt Jo’s feelings earlier today when he thought of Lorelai in the shower, and he couldn’t do something like that a second time, so he backed away and put his arm demonstrating around his wife.
“Sorry”, he said, looking first at Sofiya, then at Jo and smiled widely. “But I’m taken.” He leaned forward and kissed Jo while the other girl just rolled her eyes and turned away from them. She clearly couldn’t stand that kind of cheesy puppy-love, and besides, that wasn’t the reason she came here in the first place. She had a whole different plan.

“I actually consider pressing charges for constant stalking”, Alfie said coldly when he walked right into Sofiya. When she saw the Christmas jumper she burst into laughter.

“Did a group of little elves dress you? Or did you just smoke something weird before you picked that out?”

He ignored her question. “What are you doing here? Stop following me like some crazy stalker.”

“Following you?” She smiled in amusement. “Oh, honey, if you haven’t noticed it already; you’re the one coming to me, not the other way around. And besides, don’t be so self-absorbed, I’m not here because of you…”

“Well, if you’re here for Liam, forget it. He wouldn’t cheat on that little wifey of his even if you got him completely drunk. So, whatever you do, it’s not going to-“

“No”, she interrupted him and then turned her head into a different direction, right towards a group of kids. But she wasn’t looking at the children, she was looking at Ricky who was talking with a few of them. Alfie followed her gaze and realized where this was heading.

“Are you joking?” He actually wanted to tell her to stay the fuck away from his boy, but that would only look like he cared too much, and she would make fun of him. “If you haven’t noticed it already, he’s on the other team, and there’s no way you’ll get his interest. No way.”

Sofiya chuckled. “I know he’s not interested in women, I’m not stupid.” She played with her long dark hair. “But it wouldn’t be the first time I turn a gay man straight, believe me.”
Before Alfie could stop her, Sofiya threw her hair over her shoulder and walked right towards Ricky. She pushed the kids aside and made sure they left them alone, then she put her arm around Ricky who was more than confused and had no idea what was going on. Since Sofiya got back to England for the first time in a few years, she had noticed that pretty much nothing had changed in Oxford, except one thing; Alfie. She had immediately noticed that something was different about him, and after a few weeks of observing she could all trace it back to this one boy. She had no idea what it was about Ricky that made him so special, but she sure knew that he was the reason for the change in Alfie, and she didn’t like that change. She didn’t like seeing him actually caring for someone, and he did seem to care a lot about this boy. Since she wanted to be in control and turn the things the way she liked, she had to find Alfie’s weak spot- and that obviously was Ricky.

“It’s quite hot in here, don’t you think?” She blinked flirtatiously at him while her hand wandered over his chest. “We should go somewhere else, where it’s…less crowded.”

“Um…excuse me?” Ricky blushed, not because he was turned on by her but because she was freaking intimidating and he didn’t know what to do.
Alfie stayed in his corner and watched them. Of course it was driving him crazy that Sofiya threw herself at Ricky, but they were still in public and Alfie just didn’t want to draw any attention towards them by trying to get her away from Ricky.

“I…ehm…I’m sorry…” Ricky cleared his throat and tried to get her hand off him, but she was very persistent and impossible to shake off. “I…eh…I’m not-“

“Interested?” A smile crossed her lips. “Oh, I don’t think so.”

“Um…yes. I think I know that better than you.” He tried to be a little more confident but she scared the hell out of him. He took a deep breath. “Could you, ehm, please take your hands off me?”

“God, you are adorable, just like a little school boy. No wonder Fifi likes to screw you.”

Ricky took a step back. “I’d like to ask you if you can please leave him alone. I know it’s hard for him to quit you, but if you keep coming after him-“

“Me? Coming after him?” She shook her head in amusement. “Sorry to break it to you, kid, but it’s your ‘boyfriend’ who comes after me. Obviously he doesn’t get the satisfaction he needs, that’s why he keeps coming to me, because I sure as hell can give it to him.”

Ricky looked hurt, mainly because he worried that Sofiya was right. He knew that he wasn’t enough for Alfie and he would never be. He was still shy and sometimes even a bit clumsy, and he was pretty sure that he could never give his boyfriend what he needed. Needless to say, he didn’t stand a chance against Sofiya.
The young woman seemed to read his mind and a smile appeared on her face, her left arm around his neck now, the other hand still resting on his chest.
“Now don’t take it personally, you’re not the only one who can’t satisfy him. Everyone failed in that, except me, of course. But I feel sorry for you, that’s why I have an offer for you…” She leaned closer, so close that he could smell her Chanel perfume. “I’ll teach you a few things, because believe me, if you keep it up like that he will get bored of you faster than you think. You need my help, kid.”

Ricky was thinking about what she just said, and he started to admit that she might be right. He probably did need help, but he didn’t want to sleep with Sofiya or anyone else, the thought of being with someone else scared him.

“So?” She waited a moment for him to say something, but he didn’t, so she just went ahead and kissed him quite roughly. At first Ricky acted like a helpless victim and didn’t do anything, but when her hand wandered into his trousers, he finally backed away from her, looking flushed. He wished he had a newspaper or pillow or something to cover him, he suddenly felt so exposed.

She just watched him amused, and to tease him a little she kept her eyes on his trousers. “My, my, you have really soft lips. Softer than any girls’ lips, and I’ve tried those too, so I know what I’m talking about.” Her eyes wandered slowly up. “And the offer still stands. I can really teach you some important lessons, kid.” She smirked.

“Thanks, but no.” His cheeks were still flushed, and all he wanted was to hide behind something right now.

“Well, don’t blame me when he gets bored of you.” She shrugged her shoulders and turned away from him. Alfie didn’t wait any longer, he walked straight up to Ricky, making sure there was nobody else listening.

“You okay?”

Ricky nodded quietly. He didn’t dare to look at Alfie, he just stared at the floor and hoped his boyfriend wouldn’t take a closer look at him.

But Alfie did not pay like Ricky. He pulled Ricky further aside and ended up with him in one of the corner windows and kissed him, not in any friend way.

“Ricky?” Alfie whispered gently.

“I didn’t do anything. I swear! She came up to me and… she… I don’t know what went on but I don’t want her I’m not interested in…”

“Whoa Ricky, I know. Did she hurt you?”

“What no… Alfie did you hear me I did not do anything.”

“I know but I’m just saying that I’m not interested in her.”

Now Alfie chuckled. “Yeah I know, I just don’t want her to be near to you she means trouble. And she does not need to know that… you, that she can make me do things because I… because you are mine.”

Ricky was leaning against Alfie when they heard steps and he had to part with a heavy heart. But then it was just Jo.

“Oh my God Ricky are you okay? I saw Sofiya trying to seduce you? Alfie I can promise you Ricky didn’t do anything with Sofiya. You mean everything to him.” Jo spoke fast and in a low voice. Liam wanted her not to go to their gay friends but she had to go and talk to them to make sure they were okay.

As usual, Alfie had his unemotional expression when Jo showed up, he looked a lot like he didn’t care what she said. He didn’t like when people barged in on them like that, even if it was just someone as harmless as Jo. He was so overly protective of his and Ricky’s relationship that he didn’t want anyone come near it.
“Nice of you to join our conversation”, he said cynically, but that same moment he felt Ricky’s hand tucking his sleeve.

“What he means is, that everything is okay, you don’t have to worry”, Ricky said to Jo, then he shot his boyfriend a brief glance. “Relax, okay? She’s my friend, she was just concerned.”

Alfie didn’t seem very convinced. “Whatever.”

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to butt in like this, I-“

“It’s okay, Jo”, Ricky said calmly. “Thanks for your concern.”

She smiled a bit awkwardly and went back to Liam, she knew that she could leave those two alone now.

“You have to stop being so suspicious of people.” Ricky turned back to Alfie.

“I just don’t want to share -“ He paused for a moment and then cleared his throat. “You.”

The younger boy smiled at him. He knew that was Alfie’s way to show how much he cared about him, and it made him really happy.
“Well, you don’t have to. Especially not with Sofiya.”

“Geez, that woman has nerves!”

“Tell me about it”, Ricky mumbled. “But I know she didn’t do that because she’s interested in me, she only did that to get your attention. I think she’s really determined to have you all for herself.”

Alfie rolled his eyes. “Let’s not talk about her anymore, okay? I’m already more than annoyed.”

Ricky nodded. “Sure.” But he knew that just because he wasn’t talking about her didn’t mean that she was out of the picture. At least for now she was, but he didn’t know for how long.

When Jo returned to Liam, he greeted her with a boyish grin. “Hello Beautiful.” He put his arm around her. “Everything okay with them?”

She nodded. “Yes, I think they are okay.”

He pulled her closer and smiled. “You smell so good, I wish I could eat you”, he said jokingly.

She grinned back at him.

“You know Betty took the girls upstairs to bring them to bed, and when you are hungry I have an idea how to solve this little problem.” Jo giggled and checked that no one was looking at them and then pulled him through the kitchen into the pantry.

“Mh the good old pantry.” Liam grinned and lifted Jo up on the table at the side. Jo giggled when he pushed his hands up her leg and found her knickers. “Oh that feels lacey.”

Jo blushed. “Um yeah I thought you might like it.”

Liam kissed her passionately. “I love you in everything.”

Jo quietly moaned when Liam found her soft spots. “Oh Liam.” Jo was leaning back and let Liam give her very great pleasure. “More Liam, oh god more.”

“You should handle your wife better country boy, it is pathetic when the woman tells the man what to do.” Victor snarled from behind him while Jo was nearly reaching her climax. Jo froze under Liam, the thought that someone else, someone she feared terribly freaked her out. Jo hands were clasping tightly into Liam’s shirt sleeves begging that Victor could not see her private parts. Why the hell was he watching them having sex?

“What country boy? Ca you not even fuck your wife the proper way?” Victor grinned evil at Liam.

Liam froze when he heard Victor’s voice behind him, and he immediately tried to cover Jo as much as possible, though then he realized that he wasn’t really covered himself, so he quickly pulled his trousers up and turned around, still blocking any view on Jo. Was this bloody idiot everywhere? Liam felt like he kept showing up wherever they went, and Victor sure has hell had nerves showing up here, in their home, where he was not welcomed at all. Why didn’t he understand that he would never get Jo and all the money that came with her? Even if Elizabeth had the last word- which she didn’t- Victor would still not get what he wanted.
“You son of a bitch!” This time Liam didn’t wait anymore, he checked that Jo’s skirt was back down so that Victor couldn’t see anything, then he pushed him out of the pantry and harshly against a wall. It didn’t matter anymore that he was smaller than Victor, he was no longer the weak teenager he had been when he met Victor the first time, he was a lot stronger now, especially when it came to defending his family. Right now he just wanted to break Victor’s jaw, he didn’t care if that would have consequences, he just wanted him to stay the hell away from his family.

“Mr Liam?” A shy voice next to him let him freeze. It was little Gracie who watched them with wide eyes. Liam knew he couldn’t start a fight with Victor right in front of the little girl’s eyes, so he bit his lip and took a step away from Victor, who just grinned amused.
“What are you doing?”, Gracie asked shyly.

“I…um…” He had no idea what to say.

“Well, it’s been nice seeing you again”, Victor said sarcastically, and then grinned into Jo’s direction. “Bye, bye, Sweetheart.”

Liam had to really brace himself, he just wanted to beat the crap out of this guy, but the presence of Gracie held him back, so instead he just watched the other guy getting away- again.
Jo came out of the pantry, she still looked pretty shaken up, but when she saw the little girl she tried to put a smile on her face.
“Hey Gracie, don’t you want to play with Edward and Henry?”

“Yes, we played hide and seek and I was looking for Edward”, Gracie explained.

“Okay, so you should continue looking for him then, right?”

Gracie nodded. “Okay.” She looked at Liam and smiled shyly. “Bye, Mr Liam.”

“Bye.” Liam waited until she was gone, then he turned back to Jo. “Dammit! I really want to fucking kill this guy!”

“Liam, it’s okay-“

“No, it’s not okay!”

She actually didn’t want to disagree with him on that one, it really wasn’t okay. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her gently. “Let’s go to the others, okay?”
She nodded and they went into the living room, relieved to see that Victor was gone. Lorelai came up to Jo and asked her what happened, she could immediately see that something was wrong with her little cousin, while Liam went to Alfie.
“You don’t happen to have any whiskey with you or something like that? I could really need it right now.”

Alfie raised an eyebrow. “Now, Little Man, you act like I’m a walking liquor store…”

“You are a walking liquor store.”

“That sounds like I’m an alcoholic.” Alfie grinned and teasingly handed him a cup with eggnog. “This is a children’s party, no alcohol allowed.” But when he saw that Liam was really not kidding, he handed him his flask.

“Thanks”, Liam mumbled and made sure nobody else was watching. “Can you explain to me how on earth you managed to put up with Victor for so long? I mean, I only know him since four years or something like that and he drives me insane, but you two practically know each other since you can barely walk, but you always seem so…so…”

“Calm about it? Indifferent?” Alfie crossed his arms. “He wasn’t worth getting pissed about, that’s only a waste of time. Despite the fact that he went to the best schools with me I always knew he wasn’t one of my kind, and as such I didn’t bother even taking notice of his existence. He tried to ‘race’ me through all the years, always trying to beat me in whatever, but he never even got close to being as good as me, so I really didn’t care about what that guy was doing. Honestly, the best thing is just to ignore him.”

“But I can’t ignore him! He shows up everywhere, he bothers me, he bothers my family-“

“And he only finds his pleasure in the fact that he bothers you and that you get all annoyed about it.”

Liam sighed. “I wish I could be indifferent about him, but he really drives me insane.”

“If it makes you feel any better; he has a tiny penis. Seriously, tiny and crippled, worse than a little kid’s one…”

Liam didn’t know if he should be disturbed about just the image or the fact that Alfie knew how Victor looked, but it did make him feel better, at least a bit. “Good.” Liam nodded and took another sip from the flask, then he quickly handed it back to Alfie before anyone else saw it.

It was a long night Jo curled up in Liam’s arm in their bed under the stars, well under the large skylight above their bed.

“This Christmas was wonderful Liam, I’m glad the girls had a wonderful first Christmas.” Jo whispered, she was still a little shaken that Victor had seen her when she and Liam were doing it in the pantry. She was sure he had barely seen her since she had her dress still on and Liam was standing in the way of her private parts. And it was actually not the point that Victor might have seen her, it was more the point that Victor had interrupted them while Liam had made love to her. She loved it when she and Liam had sex because she felt how much she meant to him.

“Yes it was. And you really did look lovely.” Liam liked holding her tightly. “God you smell so good.”

Jo giggled. “I’m sorry Liam but do you mind not to have sex tonight, I feel sort of stupid that Victor watched us.”

“No problem. I hate that he saw you.”

“I’m sure he barely saw me, I covered myself very quickly.”

“I know it’s not the point it is one thing that Sofiya shows up without an invitation but Victor is another thing. Next time he dares to set foot on this property I will call the police or Dick to shoot him.”

Jo kissed Liam. “Good I don’t want him here.”

Jo fell asleep in Liam’s arms not much later, Liam did not sleep for another while and just watched his wife sleep. She looked always so beautiful in her sleep like an angel.
The next morning Jo was a little bit stressed because they had to be for lunch at the Williams Cottage and of course the girls had to look perfect in their little adorable Burberry dresses with matching nappy cover panties.

“Liam? Can you check the nappy bag if I packed the formula.” Jo shouted from the bathroom while she made her hair.

Liam opened the humongous nappy bag- this bag was still a riddle to him, he just didn’t know what all those mums put in there all the time, he felt like Jo always took both nurseries with her in that bag.
“Yes, it’s in there.” He sighed. “Do we really have to go?”

“Liam, we talked about this.” Jo left the bathroom, all pretty and ready to go. “I know, I wish we could spend Christmas day alone with the girls, or at least not at my Mother’s, but we can’t bail on her.”

“It’s not like she’s going to miss me. Or the girls.”

“We can’t get out of it, Liam.” Jo took Jane and was about to take the bag as well, but Liam was quicker and threw it over his shoulder while he carefully lifted up Jill. “I know, Cupcake, I don’t want to go either.”

“But hey, at least my father is there, so he won’t let mother go too crazy.”

“That’s a relief”, Liam mumbled sarcastically while he followed his wife out of their flat.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Alfie felt just as annoyed as Liam to visit his parents, but he had to, he could never get out of their Christmas Day lunch, this was the one day of the year where he really had no other choice but to attend. Christmas Day was never a big party, it had always been just a family thing, but this time his sister’s fiancé was with them. And Sofiya. The good thing was, Lord Jackson was busier cross-examining Cecilia’s fiancé to make sure she didn’t marry someone who wasn’t worth marrying into the Jackson family, so he spent less time focusing on his son, which Alfie was really glad about. However, his grandmother kept her cold eyes on Alfie and Sofiya, watching them carefully. This was a match she would definitively approve, even though Sofiya didn’t come from a prestige English family, she still came from a respectable background and Lady Eleanor Jackson just wanted her grandson to be married off as quickly as possible, before any more rumours started to spread.
“So, when are you going back, Miss Levkova?”, Lady Eleanor asked while the others were busy talking to Cecilia and her fiancé.

“Mid-January. I already stayed longer than I had planned to.”

There wasn’t any expression on Alfie’s face, mostly because he felt various things at the same time and didn’t know what exactly he did feel. For once he felt relief that she was gone soon and out of his way, and he didn’t have to worry that she would get any closer to Ricky. But there was something inside of him- which he really, really tried to ignore or deny- that didn’t want her to go already, and the fact that he thought this pissed him off, because he didn’t want to think anything like this, he just wanted her gone. Or not. Or both.

“That is a pity”, his grandmother said. “Do you know when you want to come back?”

“No, not yet.” She smiled politely while her hand reached out for Alfie’s. “I hope the next time I come back I don’t find too many things changed…”

Lady Eleanor scrutinized her son to see how he reacted, but his expression remained blank, and he pulled his hand away from Sofiya. After the lunch was over, Sofiya grabbed Alfie’s arm and pulled him away from the others, into the tea room.
“What do you want?”, he asked annoyed, although he already expected her to get undressed, but to his surprise she left her clothes on- at least for now. Instead, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and handed him one, then she sat down next to him on the couch, crossed her legs and lit her cigarette.
“Oh, this room…”, she mumbled while she turned her head slightly. “Brings back good old memories, doesn’t it?”
Alfie didn’t answer, but of course he knew what she was referring to. Ten years ago they slept together for the first time here in his grandmother’s tea room. Of course both of them weren’t virgins at that point anymore, but it was their first time together.
Sofiya watched Alfie quietly for a moment. “So, what is it about him?”

“What?” He looked at her now.

She rolled her eyes. “That little boy-toy of yours…what makes him so different that you actually hold on to him for so long? I doubt he’s good in bed, he’s probably like a little virgin just lying there and not knowing what to do. So why keeping him?”

“That’s none of your business”, Alfie mumbled, but he actually had a hard time looking Sofiya in the eyes.

“Does he make you feel loved?” A sarcastic smile appeared on her face. “Does he hold your hand when you need him to, or give you a big hug when-“

“Just shut it.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I want to know what on earth this kid does in order to get your interest for so long. I know you, I know you better than anyone, and I know this is not you, keeping someone around you for so long. You get bored of people, you don’t want anyone getting close to you, so what the hell does this boy have on him that makes him so different?”

Alfie didn’t answer, his eyes fixed on the ground. Sofiya could see that she actually made him uncomfortable, but she didn’t stop watching him. And then she got it.
“Oh my God…” She paused for a moment. “You love him.”
It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“Don’t be ridiculous”, Alfie said coldly, but he still had difficulties looking at her.

“You’re in love with this kid, that’s what it is…My, my, not in my wildest dreams I would have imagined that you could ever fall in love with someone, that is-“

“Shut up!” He interrupted her. “I’m not in…I’m not…I don’t…” He couldn’t even say it, and it annoyed him so much. In order to stop Sofiya from asking more about this, he pressed his lips harshly against hers, an obvious invitation, which she accepted immediately. Alfie knew that he would feel guilty afterwards, but at least it kept his mind off from what Sofiya had just said. He really needed to distract himself from this crazy thought.

Jo was driving after she checked at least four times that the twins were strapped safely in their car seats.

“You are late.” Elizabeth was actually waiting outside the cottage in the snow storm, her poor lady in waiting was trying to hold an umbrella to get the snow off her not with a lot of success.

“Merry Christmas Mother.” Jo kissed her mother on her right cheek.

“Yes, yes get your brats inside. As I said before you are late.”

“Wow your mother is in a great mood.” Liam mumbled carrying Jill and the nappy bag. Jo bit her lip and then just before they went into the cottage she grabbed Liam’s arm. “Liam listen I need you to be nice today. Um dad said that mother… she got some medicine and it’s suppose to her with her mood swings but she is not yet adjusted to it. It’s um… I don’t know just try o stay calm okay.” Jo looked sad at Liam. This situation with her mother was not easy for her no matter what happened she was afraid that she would turn into her mother.

Meanwhile in the large flat in Oxford city, Ricky was cleaning the flat he considered going to his parents but he would see them the next day so he cleaned the flat, baked some more Christmas cookies. He would later take them to church but right now he was just doing housework, doing the washing, cleaned every tiny square inch and sorted through all their things. It didn’t feel like Christmas but he kept his mind busy. Ricky dreaded the moment Alfie would come home from his parent’s mansion where Sofiya was. He hated the thought what his boyfriend and this girl did. Ricky sat down in Alfie’s big leather armchair and had a glass of whiskey in his hand. He didn’t drink it but he kept smelling it, hoping Alfie would come home soon and would have not slept with Sofiya.

Liam had a really hard time trying not to say anything sarcastic. It seemed like Elizabeth was even more annoying than usual, and he really didn’t have the nerve to put up with that but Jo had asked him to be nice, so he tried to be nice. He hoped Elizabeth would ignore him for most of the dinner, that’s actually how he liked it, but she did watch him all the time- and he didn’t like that at all.

“They still don’t have hair.” She looked sceptically at the babies who were placed in their high chairs.

“I’m sure they will get hair sooner or later”, her husband said with a smile, then greeted his daughter and son-in-law. “And they are as beautiful as always, growing every day.” He was a very proud grandpa, and both Jo and Liam were happy about that.
Jill made a face when Elizabeth stared at her, and Liam wished he could make a face too, but he obviously had to behave himself.
They sat down at the long table, the girls next to them.

“I still don’t understand in which belief the children are raised.” Elizabeth frowned as she watched the babies.

“What?” Liam didn’t get what she wanted, but Jo answered instead.

“I already told you they won’t have a strict religious upbringing, Mother.”

“That’s a shame.” She shook her head. “A true shame.” Now her eyes wandered to Liam as if he was the reason for all of this. Well, in her eyes he was the reason. “They are better not raised Catholic, we don’t need more of those people in our country…” That really sounded like an accusation.
Liam was about to make a cynical remark when he felt Jo’s hand on his, stopping him from saying something mean.
“No, Mother, they are not Catholic, and if they were, it wouldn’t be your business.”
Elizabeth made a sour face and shook her head while Colin looked apologetically at the two young parents. Liam couldn’t wait to get out of here.

Later in the evening Alfie came home and found Ricky kneeling down and scrubbing the floor.
“What the hell is this?”

“Oh, hi…” Ricky looked up but he didn’t stop scrubbing.

“We have a maid.”

“I know, but I just…I thought that-“

“Get up, it’s pathetic.”

“I don’t mind cleaning, it keeps my mind off-“

“You’re only allowed to kneel down when you give me a blowjob, other than that you really shouldn’t sit around like this, you’re not a slave.”

Ricky sighed. “I’m done cleaning anyway.” He got up and threw the rag into the washing machine, then he greeted his boyfriend properly. He immediately noticed that Alfie didn’t smell like himself anymore, he smelled like Sofiya had been all over him, which Ricky had feared.
“Was the dinner okay?”, he asked, not looking at him.

“Well, this time at least my father didn’t bother me as much.”

Ricky slowly looked up and noticed a deep scratch on Alfie’s neck, it wasn’t hard to guess where he got that from, or rather, from whom, but Ricky forced a smile.
“I’ll make you some tea, okay?” He didn’t even wait for a reply, he quickly went into the kitchen, trying to put on a brave face despite the fact that his heart felt so heavy again.

Even when Alfie pretended not to see the hurt face of Ricky after he had kissed him he still saw it. And it got just worse when Ricky noticed the scratch on his neck.

“Ricky listen I will go and take a shower okay? So wait a little with the tea and maybe, I can have some of your cookies?” Alfie had pulled Ricky into a hug again just to feel his boyfriend’s body. Yes he just had an amazingly hot girl under himself but this girl was nothing compared to his lover boy.

“Okay.” Ricky’s voice was trembling. Alfie went to the stairs he saw Ricky start scrubbing again, he first wanted to say something but then he saw that Ricky actually had tears in his eyes. Alfie couldn’t take this he ran upstairs and went under the shower to do some scrubbing himself, not until his skin was red he turned off the water. He checked the scratch on his neck, it wasn’t too bad now after the shower. Alfie didn’t bother to get dressed when he went downstairs, so he was just dressed in a towel around his waist.

“So what about this tea you mentioned?” Alfie grinned when he pulled Ricky off the floor took his pink rubber gloves off and kissed the shaking hands.

Ricky’s heart was racing when Alfie took his hands. He knew it was ridiculous, but he sometimes still acted like this was all new to him, like he was still a virgin and overwhelmed by just the sight of his boyfriend dressed in nothing but a towel. He didn’t know how to stop being nervous, even after all those years. But it was a good kind of nervous, the kind of nervous that sent him butterflies in his stomach.
“I’m sorry, I smell like cleaning supplies, I should…I…um…” He started to stutter because he was actually so nervous, but he was also still hurt because he remembered what Sofiya had said to him yesterday, that he wasn’t good enough to satisfy Alfie and that he would get tired of him, and obviously Alfie had felt the need to sleep with her again because Ricky was just not enough.
“I’m never going to be enough for you”, he mumbled, accidently a little too loud. He didn’t want to say it at all, it was supposed to stay in his head but then slipped out.

“What?”

“Nothing!” He quickly shook his head. “I…um…I’m going to make some tea now, I-“ He tried to turn away but Alfie didn’t let go off his hands, and instead pulled him close to him, and then, out of nowhere, kissed him so gently on the forehead that Ricky’s heart just stopped for a moment. This was perhaps one of the most gentle gestures Alfie had ever shown. It was just short, but the way he had placed a kiss on Ricky’s forehead was so careful, almost as if he was afraid to hurt him.
Ricky didn’t move, he didn’t even blink. His heart started beating again, well, this time it was racing, almost jumping out of his chest. He felt exactly like he did a few years ago, when he had his first time with Alfie, back then, when he didn’t have to worry about Sofiya. The moment he thought of her, his heart got heavy again, but Alfie seemed to see that something was wrong. He knew why Ricky was so upset, and he felt once again really guilty.

“Hey, it’s not her I call Lizzie, okay?”

“How would I know? Maybe you call her something else…” Ricky stared at the floor.

“Yeah, I do. Sometimes I call her bitch, sometimes slut, sometimes I-“

“Okay, okay, I get it.” He looked up to his boyfriend. Man, it was so distracting because he was only dressed in a towel. “But you shouldn’t be so disrespectful towards women.”

Alfie rolled his eyes and kissed him. “Now get me some tea, boyfriend”, he said in a playful, but friendly manner. Ricky’s heart jumped once again when he heard the boyfriend-word. He nodded quickly and was about to turn away when Alfie held him back.
“Actually”, he said, pulling him close again. “I don’t think I want tea right now…” His hand wandered to the buttons of Ricky’s shirt. “You’re wearing too much fabric, I have to change that.”
Ricky blushed, not sure where to look. He didn’t know why, but after all those years Alfie made him still nervous- in the good kind of way.

Jo had repacked the changing bag and the girls were ready to go, all four O’Dohertys looked a lot more relaxed as they did yesterday.

“Liam does Jill wear her shoes? She should wear them now that she is walking, it will help her to hold her feet the proper way.”

“Yes she has them on but she does not look happy about wearing shoes.” Liam was in his study, with the girls. “Jo we have to go come on it is just my dad he doesn’t care what you wear.”

“I know but he is my piano teacher.”

"Yeah tell me about it, one of your older men you had a crush on.” Liam grinned cheeky at his beautiful wife.

“Are you sure I had a crush.” Jo teased him. “Anyway come let’s go.”

The drive was not long since Graham’s cottage was not far from Waterfall Downs.

“Oh Liam, Jo it is so good to see you. Was the drive okay I hope the snow was not too bad on the streets.” Graham hugged first Jo and Jill and then his son who was holding Jane and the huge changing bag. “Oh Liam is it so bad, are you moving in with me?”

Liam laughed when Graham took the changing bag.

“No but Jo just wants to be prepared for everything so she packs basically both nurseries.” Liam took Jo’s hand as they walked into Graham’s cottage.

“Graham this is wonderful. It looks like Santa’s workshop. I love it.”

“Oh thank you Jo. I wasn’t so sure if it is okay, it is well my first Christmas I’m hosting. I hope it is okay.” Graham had already Jane on his arms and was happily making funny faces to his granddaughter.

“I’m sure it is wonderful.”

“Good, sit down, the food still needs a little while.” Graham had made tea and had a few cookies all on the coffee table. Jane was sitting in one of the cosy armchairs already looking and exploring the new surrounding, while Jill was well pulling herself up the coffee table.

“Oh my Jill, children is your daughter walking?” Graham looked proud at his little granddaughter.

Liam smiled just as proud. “Yes she does walk, still supported though.”

Graham had already his camera ready and took pictures of his little girl. And then suddenly Liam noticed that Jo was not looked at Jill but at the new pictures frames everywhere in the room. And that’s when he saw it.

“Jo was so polite to send me a few pictures she got from you as a little boy and I like that this way I feel like I was a part of it. And my mistake is not as huge anymore as it was because I found you and I am now a part in your life.” Graham smiled at his son while he was holding Jill’s hand and walked through the living room.

Liam looked quietly at the pictures of him as a little boy. Back then it was just him and his mum, they had each other and didn’t need anyone else. At least he thought so. It took a while until he realised that his mum needed more than just him, even though he was the most important person in her life, but there were times that she felt lonely, and she always hid it, but sometimes he caught her looking sad, and as he grew older he realised that she was just pretending to be okay. She just didn’t want him to know how much she struggled, and she always put on a brave smile, but sometimes there were moments when her little son knew that she didn’t smile because she meant it, but because she had to.

“I asked your grandmother to send a few pictures”, Jo said. “I hope that is okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He looked at his wife now. “At least she didn’t send the embarrassing one, where I’m only in my underpants with a cape, pretending to be a super hero.”
Jo and Graham both laughed.
“I would have loved to see that”, Graham said.

“Yes, me too.” Jo nodded, agreeing with her father-in-law.

“No way, you’re never going to see that one.”

“Oh, I think I have to give you Jill back, otherwise the food is burning.” Graham carefully handed Jill over to his son.

“Wait, what? You’re cooking?”

“Yes. Why are you so surprised?”

“Ehm…I think I’m not that sure anymore if you’re really my father after all…”

Graham chuckled. “No, you’re just your mother’s son, she was disastrous in the kitchen.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. Heating up soup was already a challenge for her…”

“That sounds familiar.” Jo grinned at her husband.

“Well, yeah…” Liam shrugged his shoulders. “Like he says, I’m my mother’s son.”

Graham smiled at him briefly, then he went into the kitchen to save the food before it got burnt.


Alfie sat quietly next to Ricky while they were driving to his parents’ house. Well, Ricky was driving, luckily in the car Alfie got him for his birthday, and not his old, tiny piece of junk that he used to drive before he got a new one for his birthday.
“I told you we could have called my driver”, Alfie mumbled.

“And I told you that I don’t want to roll in with a limo in front of my parents’ house, you know that the area isn’t the most posh one”, Ricky replied. “Oh wait, you have never been to my parents’ house before.”

That was actually not true, he was once, to get the childhood photos of Ricky, and he had asked his mom not to tell Ricky that he stopped by. Man, that was awkward, especially since a few days before that, Ricky had come out to her and by the time Alfie stopped by, she knew about them. She was nice, yes, but it was obviously an awkward situation, and he was pretty damn sure it wouldn’t be any less awkward today, especially since Ricky’s dad was there too. Alfie could deal with his mom, but his dad was a different story. He so didn’t want to go to this dinner right now, but he knew it meant a lot to Ricky.
“You haven’t…ehm…told your father, right?”

“Told him what?” Ricky was too focused driving. Although his car wasn’t a Bentley, it was still too nice for the area he was just driving through.

“You know…about us…and stuff…”

“No, oh God, no!” Ricky couldn’t help but notice that Alfie was actually nervous, and it made him smile because it was adorable that someone like Alfie got nervous about visiting his poor and simple parents.

“Why did you have to tell your mom?”

“Because I’m tired of hiding who I am, and I can trust her, and-“

“And she’s going to stare at me and offer me cookies while she pictures us having sex”, Alfie said dryly.

“What? No! She’s not going to do that…”

“Of course she will. Do you seriously believe she doesn’t think of us having sex? Come on, don’t be so naïve.”

Ricky took a deep breath. “I don’t…I don’t know what she thinks, I-“

“I’m pretty sure she’s smart enough to guess that we do more than just holding hands.”

“Alfie, you make this situation more uncomfortable than it is, so please-“

“I’m just realistic”, he said calmly. “You had to tell her the truth, and now I can promise you that every time she sees me, she thinks of how I screw her little boy, I bet my couch on that.”

“Oh God, please!” Ricky shot him a warning glance. “Don’t make this more awkward for me, okay?”

“Awkward for you? How about awkward for me, because that’s what it is, you were the one who had to tell her about us.”

Ricky rolled his eyes. “We’re here”, he said dryly while he parked in front of the tiny house.

“I’m just saying-“

“You said enough, thank you.”

“I’m just pointing out the truth.”

“I don’t want to think of my mother thinking of us having sex, okay? So don’t mention this again, and try to behave.” Ricky got out of the car and hoped everything would be okay, although he was kind of nervous too, especially since his father was there. And thanks to Alfie’s brutal honesty, he started to feel a bit awkward too.

Jill was holding on to the coffee table and walked her circles around it while her sister was sitting very calmly watching everything happening around her. And then it happened, a large smash followed a shivering and crying Jill. She had accidently knocked the large full pot of hot tea down the floor, luckily the little girl did not get burnt but she got a proper scare.

“Oh Jill.” Jo picked the crying girl up just when Graham cam hurried back into the room.

“I’m am so sorry Graham, I’ll pay for it.” Jo mumbled embarrassed. Liam had picked up Jane because she was getting a little fuzzy.

“Oh Jo, don’t worry about it. Is Jill hurt?”

“No she is fine she just got scared of the noise. I’m so sorry.” Liam gently rubber over Jo’s back he saw how upset Jo was that their daughter had smashed his father’s expensive looking tea pot.

“My dearest Jo this tea pot was a present from your mother and guess what it means nothing to me. Just keep our little wobbly walker away for a while that I can clean up.” Graham smiled and kissed Jill on the cheek. “My little angel your mommy worries too much, I hope you are not hurt. Let me get you some cookies for the shock.”

Graham went into the kitchen to get the dustpan and the cookies he baked especially for the girls with less sugar.
Jo was sitting on the couch with Jill on her arm. “This is so embarrassing.”


Meanwhile on the other side of Oxford in a rather different way of neighbourhood. Ricky had just rang the doorbell of this tiny skew-whiff house he grew up in. Suddenly he wasn’t sure anymore if this was the right idea and then his mother opened the house and it smelled and looked like Santa’s house and his mother looked like Mrs Santa and Ricky loved it. He knew that his mother went over the top this Christmas because for the very first time Ricky brought someone home.

“Merry Christmas Ricky and … Alfie.” Ricky’s mom looked a little embarrassed at Alfie, but then her son hugged her tightly.

“Merry Christmas to you is father in?” Ricky hugged his mom so tight.

“Yes he is in the basement but we call him so that he can join us.” Emily said while she ushered the two men into the tiny living room that had now also dining table in it, they would later take it out again to see more comfortable on the couch.

“Sit down boys, I’ll made some mullet wine let me get you a glass.” She went out of the living room and shouted down the basement stairs. “Tom! Ricky and his friend Mr Alfie Jackson is here.”

“Okay that was not weird at all, how comes that she calls you Alfie? Does she know you? Alfie?” Ricky looked confused at Alfie.

Alfie just shrugged his shoulders. “She has met me before, so I guess…”

“She would never just call you Alfie, that’s weird…”

“Does it matter?” He tried to change the subject and put the little bag next to him.

“What’s that?”, Ricky asked, starting to look worried.

“Do you really think I show up without a present when someone invites me?”

“You bought them presents?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of presents?” Ricky feared the worst. He knew Alfie only meant it good, but the problem was, Alfie had no idea what was considered expensive, since there was nothing ‘expensive’ enough in his eyes.

“Relax, man. It’s nothing fancy.”

“Let me see it.”

“You’ll see it when I give them the bag.”

“No, I want to see it now.”

Alfie rolled his eyes. “If you insist.” He handed him the bag and Ricky almost froze when he got out a very, very nice watch and a beautiful, very valuable looking necklace.

“Are you crazy?” Ricky tried not to shout, he didn’t want his mom to hear them while she was in the kitchen.

“I didn’t know what your father likes, so I got him a watch, I figured I can’t go wrong with that.”

“A watch? This is not just a watch, Alfie! This is a freaking Cartier, for Christ sake! A Cartier!”

Alfie seemed unimpressed. “I know that, I was the one who picked it out.”

“No, you don’t get it!” Ricky shook his head. “This is way too expensive, you can’t give this to my father.”

“Come on, it was only five thousand pounds, that’s not expensive.”

“ONLY five thousand pounds?” Ricky needed to take a deep breath and then he took a closer look at the necklace. “Please don’t tell me that’s a real sapphire, because if it is-“

“Of course it is”, Alfie interrupted him dryly. “Do you think I would buy a fake one?”

“Oh no, you didn’t…” Ricky just stared shocked at the necklace that was most likely even more expensive than the watch.

“She has blue eyes, right?”

“What?”

“Your mother. I wanted to find something that goes well with her eyes.”
It was actually really sweet that Alfie had put so much effort into picking up something for his boyfriend’s parents, but, of course, he had no idea that those presents were just way too much.
That same moment Emily appeared in the living room with the mulled wine while Ricky quickly hid the presents in the bag.

“There you go.” Emily smiled warmly at her guest of honour while she handed him a glass, then she moved on to Ricky and tousled his hair affectionately.

“Mom, don’t mess up my hair.”

“Oh, come on, it needs a little tousling now and then.”

Alfie almost agreed with her and was about to say that he liked tousling Ricky’s hair too, but he could stop himself on time, because that would have been very awkward. Emily sat down on the little couch across from them and Ricky couldn’t help but think of what Alfie had said in the car. Maybe his mother was really thinking about them, and just the thought of that made him blush.

“Are you okay, Ricky?”, Emily asked a bit worried, but he quickly nodded.

That same moment Ricky’s dad appeared in the living room. “I’m sorry, I was in the middle of cleaning my rifles…” He shot Alfie a warning glance, as if he wanted especially him to know that he had a bunch of good hunting rifles in close distance. Alfie didn’t want to know what Tom Butcher would do to him if he actually found out what he was doing with his little boy. He was pretty sure he would love to use those guns on more than just deer. Tom greeted the two briefly and sat down next to his wife. Ricky could tell that there was an awkward tension between his dad and Alfie again, so he tried to find a distracting subject, but he didn’t have the chance because Tom already started talking.

“You remember Michael, Ricky?”

“Who?”

“Michael, the son of my friend Mitch. You used to play with him when he was little.”

“Oh yeah, I remember”, Ricky said. “Well, if you can say that throwing me in a dumpster is sort of playing, then yes, we played together.”

Tom cleared his throat. “Anyway, he’s getting married.”

“Aha.”

“And so is Jared. You know, the son of my other friend, Jared Senior. You played with him too.”

“Oh yes, I remember Jared. He was the one who locked me up in the girls’ bathroom for over two hours. So he found a wife? Now, there’s a lovely husband in the making”, Ricky said sarcastically.

Tom looked a bit uncomfortable now, but continued. “And Will’s son, Jacob-“

“Oh, wait, Jacob was the one who threw me into a dumpster, and Michael was the one who stole my trousers after I was getting changed from gym class, and all he left me were some girl’s knickers. Yes, of course I remember. What about Jacob?”

An awkward silence followed. “He got married too.”

“That’s wonderful.” Ricky didn’t even try hiding the sarcasm in his voice.

“Oh, come on, you always got along well with the sons of my friends.”

“Yeah, father, I share really fond memories with them, really. So, why are you telling me all of this?”

“I just wanted to point out that all those boys, who are all about your age, are married now, or about to get married. My friends keep asking me about you, and I have to tell them that you don’t even have a girlfriend, you know that it looks weird-“

“Tom.” Emily calmly put her hand on his. “We don’t need to talk about this now.”

He hesitated for a moment, but then mumbled something like ‘Fine’ and stared at Alfie again as if he was the reason that his son wasn’t married yet. Emily smiled awkwardly at the two young men. Her husband was the only one in this room who didn’t really know what was going on, and it was probably better that way. For now, at least.

“Ehm…I have something for you”, Alfie said to break the awkward silence, and he handed her the bag while he ignored Ricky’s ‘What-the-hell-are-you-doing?!-‘ face.
“It’s nothing fancy”, he quickly added. “Really.”

Ricky just closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Emily starred at the silver necklace with the blues stones in it, not less in shock as Tom starred at his watch.

“Rick what did you do give Mr Jackson the blowjob of his life?” Tom said with a shocked voice. Ricky went pale and so actually did his mother.

“Dad that is the most stupid idea you ever had.” Ricky said rather squeaky.

“So how did you make Mr Jackson to buy us those presents?”

“Oh Tom does it matter? It is a nice gesture that is all. I think the food is ready. So please sit down at the table.” Ricky’s mother hide the small package she had in her hands, but she didn’t count on Alfie’s sharp eyes.

“Very well, for whom is the present?” He asked nearly curious.

“Oh, um this. This is nothing just um I well I got you something Alfie.” Emily handed Alfie the small present.

“Oh that’s nice.” Alfie unwrapped the present and held a leather bracelet in his hand it had his initial on the top at a burn mark and on the back it said a date 14th March 1968.

“My husband shot the deer and I used its skin to make this present. I know it has no expensive materials but it will remind you of this Christmas.” Emily didn’t need to explain the date Alfie knew.

“Thank you.” Was all he mumbled when he sat down at the table and put on the bracelet. For a while he was rather quiet and surprised that he treasured this little piece of leather so dearly. Tom was talking about the last hunt he has been on and the more wine he had the more he ate. Until after the Christmas pudding was eaten he finally got up and said that this was enough of female stuff eh would go to the pub.

“You are welcome to join me Mr Jackson.” Tom said already rather drunk.

“No thank you, I do not think I am prepared to visit a pub.”

“Suit yourself.” Tom shrugged his shoulders and left the three in an awkward silence.

“So um how does it work you two? I mean you do have intercourse don’t you?” Emily asked very shy and still curious.

Ricky looked in horror at his mother, he could not answer in any way.

“Simple. It feels really good to enter your sons anus and while I get that way an amazing orgasm I can give your son a handjob that blows his mind.” Alfie said matter of fact. “But what I really love is when you son sucks my dick, the things he can do with his tongue are unbelievable.”

A very awkward silence followed while Ricky stared horrified at his boyfriend- his mom looked equally horrified. Alfie was the only one who didn’t understand what the big deal was.

“Ehm…um…that’s a joke!”, Ricky said, trying to force a smile while Emily still looked like she just saw a ghost. “Alfie and his…ehem…inappropriate jokes…” He smiled uncomfortably and everyone could tell that he was nervous.

“Joke?” Alfie raised an eyebrow. “I just answered her question, that’s-“

“Don’t you have to go to the bathroom?” Ricky made a quick movement with his hand.

“No.”

“Yes…” He raised his eyebrows, hoping Alfie would get the message that he should leave him and his mom alone for a brief moment. Alfie got it eventually and excused himself from the table. He really didn’t know why Ricky was making such a fuss about it, he had simply given Emily an honest answer, he didn’t see anything wrong with that.
Ricky waited until Alfie left the living room, then he turned to his mom, his cheeks extremely flushed.
“Mom…um…it…about that…” He tried to find the right words, but he was so embarrassed. “It…um…it’s not as bad as it sounds. You’re probably freaked out right now, I…ehm…”

“Ricky.” Emily’s voice was surprisingly calm.

“Yes?”, he asked shyly.

She seemed very uncomfortable, but there was obviously something she wanted to say. She cleared her throat.
“Does…eh…Alfie ever…um…pressure you to do something that you don’t like? I’m just concerned that-“

“Oh no, never!” Ricky shook his head. “He would never make me do anything that I don’t want to. He’s really…he’s really good to me, gentle even. I know it’s hard to believe but it’s true. And…um…I never feel forced, it’s…ehm…” He blushed even more. “It’s not like I don’t enjoy…um…you know?” Could this get any more awkward? His mom blushed now too and stared at her hands.
“Anyway”, Ricky added quickly. “I can assure you that I’m not forced to anything, and Alfie treats me really well, I promise.”

Emily nodded quietly, still staring at her hands.

“And mom?”

She slowly looked up. “Yes?”

“I appreciate the fact that you show interest. I mean, you could be one of those mothers who don’t care or don’t want to know about it, so the fact that you care means a lot to me. And it’s really not…ehm…as horrifying as Alfie made it sound.”

A smile appeared on Emily’s face, it was still an awkward smile, but at least she didn’t look that freaked out anymore. “Okay, good. And I’m glad that you’re happy, that means more to me than anything. You are happy, aren’t you?”

Ricky smiled. “Yes, I am.”

That same moment Alfie came back, looking a bit like Gandalf in Bilbo’s hobbit hole, he almost reached the ceiling. This house really was tiny, Alfie felt like it had been built for a group of dwarves or midgets to occupy.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you have Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil on your bookshelf”, he said as he sat back down.

Ricky couldn’t hold back a grin. “Alfie always checks out the bookshelves, wherever he is.”

“Oh…” Emily blushed. “You’ve seen right, but I have to admit, Nietzsche is a little too…challenging for me. I tackled that book many times, and I failed.”

“It’s a brilliant piece of literature, absolutely-“

“And Alfie has a thing for very, very complex books”, Ricky added. “He reads the most difficult books that exist, it’s incredible what kind of literature he reads, and especially the fact that he reads and understands it. Everybody else would give up on those books…” He couldn’t help but smile at Alfie, it was a very proud boyfriend smile, and Emily could see that Ricky hadn’t lied earlier, he really seemed happy.

A bit later, when they left and sat in the car to drive back to their flat, Ricky turned to Alfie.
“I didn’t have the chance to ask you earlier, but now I can. Are you crazy?”

“Not that I’m aware of. Why do you want to know?”

“For giving my mother such a detailed answer! You should have-“

“I just told her how it is, she wanted the truth, right? Should I have told her that all we do is a kiss on the cheek and hold hands? I doubt she would have bought that.”

“No, of course not, but maybe less detailed next time? Well, there won’t be a next time, you’re not going to get into that subject with my mother anymore, I’ll make sure of that.” Ricky paused for a moment. “And now she’s definitely going to think of us having sex, because you gave her the image.”
It was quiet for a moment, but then Alfie chuckled.

“That’s not funny”, Ricky said, but less serious.

“You should have seen your face.”

“That’s not funny at all!”

“Yeah, it is.”

“You’re so stupid.” Ricky couldn’t hold back a grin. “You make life really awkward for me.”

“And you’re just a hopeless prude.” Alfie’s eyes wandered down to the leather bracelet. He couldn’t explain why such a little thing could suddenly have such a big meaning to him. Just like Ricky.

Back at the small cottage of the pianist Graham Hart, Liam his son was sitting with his wife at the dinner table.

“Graham this dinner is amazing.” Jo gave Jill a little more turkey with gravy, her daughter was a good eater not like Jane who preferred her pap. Graham laughed. “You sound surprised.”

“Knowing how long it took Liam to learn to make eatable pancakes this dinner would take him three life times to learn.” Jo leaned to the other side and kissed Liam.

“I don’t need to know how to cook, you do and are an amazing cook.” Liam took Jo’s hand and looked at his wife and this special look. Graham smiled, he remembered looking at a girl like this and he missed it. Jo caught her father in law look at them.

“Graham I’ve got a present for you. I hope you like it.” Jo kissed Liam once more on the cheek and then went to get Graham’s present. Graham unwrapped a large painting, in the middle where Jo and Liam sitting having their girls on their lap but more behind them where Graham and Catherine. They looked all very happy and together, in the background Jo had painted again the fields of Ireland.

“Sorry if you don’t like it you don’t have to keep it, I just thought it would be nice to be all together.” Jo mumbled.

“Oh no, I’m definitely going to keep it.” Graham looked a bit sad at first, but then a smile crossed his face and he hugged his daughter-in-law. “Thank you so much, it’s beautiful.”

“Liam has a picture of Catherine right on his nightstand, and a few next to the girls’ pictures in the living room”, Jo said. “So I always get to see her, even though I never met her in person.”

“That’s really sweet.” Graham looked first at Jo, then at Liam who was a bit quiet. “I’ll put this picture up right here, over the fireplace, so it has the best place in the house. Jo, you’re a very talented painter.”

She smiled shyly. “Thank you.”

A tiny smile appeared on Liam’s face. “I just had to remember all the pictures you drew of me when you were alone in Brighton, that was kind of obsessive and creepy”, he said teasingly.

Jo blushed. “Well…we had a fight and I missed you, and I thought I was going to lose you…”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of”, Graham said. “I played obsessively piano after I left Cathy, and I really sucked because I couldn’t focus at all, I made a few dogs cry.”

Jo chuckled. “I can’t image you ever playing so bad that you make dogs cry.”

“Oh yes, I did. And after that was over, I composed countless songs, all for Cathy. I lost count how many it were in the end, I think about sixty, some were unfinished, but most of them I finished.”

“You wrote so many songs for her?” Liam looked surprised. “I thought there was only To My Heroine.”

“Oh, no.” Graham shook his head. “This one is the only one I published, but all the others I kept to myself, I didn’t want to share it with anyone else, it would have felt like I would have to share her.”

Jo nodded. “I can understand that.”

That same moment the usually very quiet Jane made some noises, mainly because she wanted someone’s attention, and Liam immediately went over to her and lifted her up and she looked a lot happier, now that she got daddy’s attention.


The next day, Jill started crying insanely early in the morning, when it was still dark outside and Jo was anything but ready to get up. She sat up sleepy, but Liam was already up on his feet and went into Jill’s nursery to check on his daughter.
“Hey Cupcake”, he said with a calm voice and picked her up carefully. “What’s wrong?” He stroked her gently, and that’s when he noticed it. “Geez, you’re burning hot.” He looked worried at Jill who didn’t stop crying. “Jo!” Liam left the nursery, Jill still on his arm. “I think Jill has a fever.”

Jo was rubbing her forehead, she had problems adding letters together to words.

“Jo?” Liam sat down next to Jo on their bed.

“Yes um what?”

Liam took Jo’s hand and placed it on Jill’s forehead.

“Whoa. Shit yeah she is ill. Damn it Dolores is not back yet, um do you think we need to call a doctor? I mean I have medicine against colds but nothing special for babies.”

“Jo, Jo breathe. Let’s start with getting the thermometer and check her temperature and then see how Jane is. And maybe it helps taking off her clothes that she just wears her vest.” Liam was freaking out but he knew it would not help when both parents freak out.

“Okay.” Jo took Jill from Liam who went into their bathroom to get the thermometer while Jo stripped Jill to her vest. Jill had stopped the panicked crying she was still not happy though, but being with mommy helped. Jo sighed she remembered nights when she was ill, how much she wanted her mother to hold her but it never happened.

“Here, I’ve also got a wet cloth and a bowl of cold water.” Liam handed Jo the thermometer. Jo put Jill on the bed and undid her nappy.

“Jo what are you doing her nappy is fine.” Liam looked a little confused at his wife.

“The best way to measure the temperature is in the anus.”

“What?! That is gross.”

“Liam! I want to have an accurate reading and that is done there.” Jo was over her freak out moment but she looked worried and more worried by the rising of the thermometer.

“Okay this is not good Jill has a temperature of 39.8°C.” Jo looked now proper scared, while she started to wipe her little girl with the wet cloth. Liam kissed Jo on the cheek.

“I go and check Jane’s temperature.”

Liam was nearly out of the door when Jo said. “Liam you need to be gentle when you enter the thermometer.”

“I will be.” Liam went in Jane’s room and found his daughter wide awake she had troubles breathing and was sweaty. He knew right away that Jane was ill as well. “Shit… Princess don’t learn this word.”

Liam picked up his little daughter and he heard that she had serious problems breathing, babies do not know yet how to breathe through their mouth and with the blocked nose she had Jane barley got any oxygen into her system.

“How is Jill?” Liam came back in their bedroom with a stripped second baby. “Jane is just as hot as Jill and she can’t breathe. I have sterile syringes in the lab do you think we can suck with them the mucus out of her nose?”

“Yes that should work. We need to cool them down. I think Dolores has Paracetamol syrup in the infirmary that should help and they need fluids, and we need to eat.”

“Why do we need to eat?”

“Because we need to keep our strength up.”

Liam kissed Jo. “They will be, it’s just a cold.”

Jo nodded, she had tears in her eyes.

“But they are so tiny so it will not be easy, luckily they have you to make them soup. I’ll go and get the syringe and the medicine from the infirmary.”

“Please hurry Liam.”

“I will.” Liam went all the way down to his lab and to the infirmary, while Jo was humming to her two upset little girls and tried to get some cold fennel tea into them, but they didn’t want any of this. Jill drunk some water and Jane did not clam down until Jo had gotten her one of the last portions of frozen breast milk.

“I should have not stopped nursing you. You weren’t ready.” Jo said kissing Jane on the cheek, Jill had fallen asleep again, and Liam just came back from his errands run he did. Jo wasn't sure if he had heard what she said to Jane or not, she didn't even know what he thought about the matter.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He didn’t want to sound that annoyed, but the whole situation freaked him out. He felt helpless, and that made him only more upset. Two of his girls weren’t feeling well, he didn’t want the third one to start making herself guilty and feeling bad too.
“That has nothing to do with you stop nursing them. It’s normal for babies to get a cold.”

“But I stopped too early-“

“No, you didn’t!” Liam actually got angry now. The last thing he needed right now was wife who blamed everything on herself again. He took a deep breath when he saw how hurt Jo looked. “You didn’t stop too early. Some babies aren’t breastfed at all and they can get by without getting ill at all for months, and some are breastfed until they are two or older and they get constantly ill. It varies from child to child, I read about that while you were pregnant. So will you please stop thinking that this is all your fault again? Guess what? Not everything is your fault, so stop it!” He lifted up Jane first because Jill was sleeping in Jo’s arm.
“Come here, Princess.” He kissed her gently on the head while he tried to make her drink some of the paracetamol syrup. Of course Jane refused and turned her head away. “I know this doesn’t taste good, but you have to drink it to get better, you know?” He knew she didn’t understand him, he wished babies wouldn’t be so ignorant, but unfortunately they were. They really had no freaking idea about the world. He eventually managed to get some of the syrup into her, even though Jane started crying again, but he rocked her gently and started humming You are my sunshine, which always calmed her down when she was scared.
“Jo, I didn’t mean to yell at you, but in situations like that you have to get a grip and stop with this constant self-blaming and self-hating, that makes it only worse, you know? I don’t feel like being calm either, but I’m doing it for the girls, and you honestly make it really difficult for me to be calm when you sit there and do the whole self-blaming act again.” He didn’t say it out loud, but he wondered if it might be good if Jo started seeing a therapist again. She had obviously still many unresolved issues, especially her insecurity and her self-blaming. It was exhausting to tell her over and over again that it wasn’t her fault but she kept blaming herself for every tiny bit. She would probably blame herself when some random kid in the street got hit by a car. She made everything her fault, and it was really pulling him down as well. He knew she didn’t do it on purpose, that’s why it was especially frustrating.
“Here.” He carefully handed Jane over to her and took Jill. She was asleep, but he had to get some of the paracetamol inside of her too, otherwise she would wake up soon and maybe feel even worse. Jill was nagging, but she didn’t refuse it as hard as her sister had. He sat down next to Jo and Jane, still humming a melody. Jill seemed like she was about to fall asleep again, luckily. The crying had obviously worn her out.
Liam looked up from Jill and finally took a closer look at his wife. His daughters apparently weren’t the only ones who had been crying.
“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to get upset with you”, he said quietly. “I wasn’t upset because of you, I was upset because I felt helpless about both the girls being ill and you blaming yourself again. They got ill because they are human, and every human gets a cold now and then. It has nothing to do with you stopping to nurse them or anything like that. It was only a matter of time that they got ill, and yes, it sucks, and yes, it freaks me out a bit, but it’s normal, and there’s nothing we can do about it except trying our best to get them healthy again, so I’m really counting on your help, okay?”

Jo looked up from Jane at Liam. “I know, I’m sorry. I mean…” Jo blushed, it wasn’t easy to say that she was sorry when she was not supposed to be sorry. “I’m here to help not to make it more difficult. How about we move into the living room, the girls can sleep in the bassinettes we watch some TV and eat something.”

“That sounds nearly perfect.” Liam got up and helped Jo. They carried their rather light dressed girls and put them down. Jo went in the kitchen to get food they could easily eat with one hand.

“I don’t think Jane will drink the tea she doesn’t like it but it should be okay when she drinks formula and the left over breast milk, I can make the formula be a little thinner so that she not eats more. We have to find a way to get them to eat at least something.” Jo was leaning in Liam’s arm while they watched more their daughters then the TV.

“Liam?”

“Yes?”

“When our girls wouldn’t be so ill right now you caring so much would be totally turning on.”

Liam chuckled. “Tell me about it, maybe when they feel a little better you and me can look for this thing in the pantry.”

“Mhhh yes.” Jo snuggled tight against her husband’s chest.

As expected Jane was a rather difficult patient she was barely eating or drinking except a little formula, while Jill just refused food but she drunk a lot of fennel tea.

“I think you need to shower, you smell and you have a beard.” Jo kissed Liam and made a face.

“Your hair looks a little grease too darling.” Liam grinned.

“God I miss having sex.”

“Jo it was what two and a half days.”

“I know but still it is like an eternity. But they look better don’t they?” Jo kissed Jane on the cheek. “She doesn’t feel as hot anymore.”

“Yeah Jane is still a little ill but Jill is pretty much over it, she already ate a slice of toast, a banana and an orange. And she is already busy talking away again.” Liam looked exhausted. When suddenly the doorbell made them both jump. Jo tried to fix her hair but there was no way that this was possible without a shower.

“Good day my little Josey, may I introduce you my babysitter boys and me are here to let you shower, eat and even if you want have some mommy daddy quality time.” Lorelai grinned widely at Jo.

“Liam? Get your ass out off your boxers, meet you under the shower. Lorelai is watching the girls.” Jo giggled and ran back into the living room, she was exhausted, dirty and hungry but she looked more than ever like the sixteen year old girl Liam had fallen in love with a few years ago. “Handsome you will have some booby time.”

For a moment Liam thought he might have gotten the girls’ fever and was hallucinating the things Jo just said, but then he saw Lorelai and her sons coming into the living room.
“Eh…what?” He was still a bit confused and his brain didn’t work so well because he was very exhausted and tired since they had barely gotten sleep the past two nights.

“Why are you still sitting there, young man?” Lorelai crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. “Go join your wife and get clean again, me and my boys will be watching the twins.”

“Eh…um…sure…” He waited until Lorelai, Edward and Henry sat down on the couch and took the girls, then he got up and walked to the bathroom. The moment he reached the door, he felt a hand grabbing his arm and pulling him inside. Jo was already out of her clothes, and she quickly locked the bathroom door, then her hands wandered to shirt in order to take it off.

“Don’t you…um…think it’s a bit weird when your cousin is right next to us and-“

“She’s not right next to us, she can’t even hear us”, Jo said while she enthusiastically took off his shirt. “And since when are you such a prude?”, she added teasingly.

“I’m not a prude. I just don’t want her to hear us, that’s all.”

“I couldn’t care less right now.” She pulled down his trousers, so he was only in his boxershorts, then she tiptoed and kissed him, which immediately gave him the final urge and he so didn’t care anymore that Lorelai was in the living room right now. All he could think of was his hot wife and a nice long shower.

That evening was more peaceful than the previous evenings. After Liam and Jo had their very long shower, Jo went into the kitchen and prepared a nice dinner. She insisted on Lorelai and the boys to stay for dinner, so that’s what they did, and it was really nice to see the girls feeling better again. Jane was just a tiny bit cranky, but Jill was her normal, talkative self.
“Thank you so much for your help”, Jo said, first to her cousin, then she smiled at the boys who behaved really well at the dinner table.

“You’re welcome Sweetie, anytime. And besides, the boys really wanted to see your two gingers.”
Henry nodded excitedly while Edward smiled politely.

“Me popato pelease.” Edward grinned widely at Jo.

“He talks so much now.” Jo gave the little boy more potatoes.

“Yeah sometimes it is not so easy to understand him, he mixes German with English.” Lorelai helped her son to cut his potatoes so that he could eat them with a smaller mess.

“They are quite well behaved.”

“Gee Liam you sound so surprised by that.” Lorelai teased Liam.

“Well no I didn’t mean it like this, I just meant that they are just toddlers and they have okay manners.” Liam looked help searching at Jo.

“Oh you are on your own, sorry darling.” Jo continues feeding Jill her potatoes and chicken.

“Um, I… damn. I mean sorry.” Liam piled more potatoes and vegetable not really because he wanted more but this was getting really complicated.

“Yes Liam my boys learn manners, I hope so do your girls.” Lorelai looked stern at Liam, but her eyes were sparkling with amusement.